I Love My Husband

I am really been getting closer with my husband more than ever. I did not think that our marriage would even come close to the 2 year mark. It will be two years on June 11th, 2012. We have had some very trying times and always butting heads. I was so lost for a while with my feelings for him, because of a lot of different things. I was so sad, because at one point I felt like I was going to be stuck in a marriage that I was miserable in. I was so sad that we lost the love we once felt for each other back when we first started to date. I never wanted to be one of them wives who feels trapped and stuck. A lot of our arguing had to do with financial things, because living back in Saint John both our incomes were not enough and we were hardly feeding ourselves. I was so mad that all my suggestions about moving away to Edmonton or any big city would be sluffed off.  I would feel mad and hateful to him, because of that. I thought he did not love me no more. He stopped telling me and I had stopped telling him. We were still on the rocky roads even after moving up here to Edmonton and also after the fact that we are now bringing in more money to afford feeding ourselves.  I also at one point was mad at myself then mixed with the emotions of being at Jonathan, because we fornicated and got pregnant so we did what is honourable and got married. I felt that maybe marriage was the wrong idea for us and maybe we felt pressured to do the right things according to God, but , yet living a lie, because we did not conceive our daughter Aaliyah appropriately. Then I started to realize that the devil will do anything to discourage us from trying to draw closer to God for even asking help. Since it says in his word we all fall short of the glory of God and that we are all forgiven as long as we repent from our sins and turn from it. I remembering thinking that I thought I was not forgiven, but then I remember hearing a sermon about people such as myself feeling really badly about one of our sins to the point of no forgiveness. Then the preacher said that we are insulting God and calling him a liar, because it says in his word that we are all forgiven. If it says that we are forgiven then we are forgiven so I realized I had to accept that I am forgiven and to start living the Christian life that I needed to be.  I have done a lot of thinking and praying and reading of Gods word which has been encouraging. I have come to realize that my husband does a lot for me. He provides for me and my daughter and now I do not have to work and I can be the Mommy I want to be. With a lot of getting prayer and having regular talks to Jonathan about my feelings and him telling me his, it has brought us so much closer. I did not think that we would over come this. But I had a verse come to me a while ago that all things are possible. There is not a thing that God can't handle. I am so glad to have the love back into my relationship with my husband. The last thing I want is for our daughter to experience a home of parents that don't show love to one another. I really love my husband so much and I am glad that we have been drawn so much closer to each other then we have been ever. It makes me feel like crying right now as I am writing this.