Under The Weather

Today I am home from work sick. UGH!! If only you all knew how bad it was. I won't go into extreme details, but I will say this much of the matter. I been up since 1:00 am running back and forth to the bathroom, being sick out of BOTH ends. The worst part is the fact that I can't trust a fart (if you know what I mean). Okay too much information on the fart topic, so I am sure you get the idea now.
So I am sitting here at my lap top on my couch, so tired, but can't get any rest now that the sun is up and keeping me awake. I just wish I could sleep, but no point, because Jonathan is asleep from working his over night shift and someone needs to be up with our daughter. As sick as I am, I certainly am enjoying my time with her. I have myself wrapped up in my blanket like you would wrap up a flatbread for a burrito. I am freezing at the moment, but that will change in about twenty minutes, then I will start to get very hot.
Since I am awake Aaliyah and I are sitting her at my lap top about the watch some documentaries. Then later on I am going to go make some homemade chicken soup (mainly for me cause I am sick) although Aaliyah will eat a bowl as well, because she just LOVES chicken.
I best be on my way offline now. I am off to spend some quality time with my little princess.

Home Sick

Home sick today from work. Definitely hate being at home sick on an actual work day. I'd much rather if I am going to be catching colds,flu's and sickness' etc I'd rather be getting them on my days off so I won't be losing any hours. Not that I wish it upon myself to catch anything at all, but we all know, that every now and then, that no matter how healthy we eat, we always catch something at least once or twice through out the year.
What really does suck about being sick today is the fact that all the usual things one usually has in their home for general sicknesses; I don't even have at all. No not one thing. Not even peptol bismal, soda crackers, chicken soup or gingerale. So I am really toughing this one out the cold turkey way. With no help. Well..... I did take some vitamin C's to help me a bit, but we all know that it takes more than a few vitamin c's to help cure sickness.
So, what I find at least helps take my attention away from the gut wrenching feeling of wanting to puke every few minutes is keeping busy. So I am just doing house work and tending to my wee one.
I find that allowing yourself to laze around on the couch all day letting myself get more weak then it already is will not help aid me in getting better quicker. Unless a sickness comes upon that just takes away my strength completely. Which happened to me last year. I was helpless, I couldn't even stand with out Jonathan helping me. He had to help me eat, a spoon felt too heavy for me. And bathing and sitting on the thrown required his help as well.
I am thankful that the sickness that I have now is not as bad as last year. At least I can be a bit productive. Although, I find my body is reacting to scents today and setting my body off, so certain foods and what not I need to stay away from.
Well I best be on my way and get some more things done. I am going to go boost Aaliyah and Jonathan immune system and give them some vitamin c's and some other things to at least try and prevent the sickness from spreading onto them.

Scare

When I was about 14 or 15 around the time I was attending the private christian school that was run out of my own church I started taking these attacks. Which felt like sharp chest pains, heavy pressure on my chest along with shortness of breath and sometimes dizziness along with a very fast racing heart (and when that part happened I always started to hyperventilate). I suffered with it until I was about 17 years old then it just stopped! Thank God! It was a pain to deal with, because whenever I would have an attack I would have to take a pill which always made me feel too doped out. My doctor that I had at the time diagnosed it as Panic/Anxiety attack.
So it has been about 7 years since I have ever had an attack. Which is awesome, because I hate it I really do. Accept for yesterday May 7th. I was coming off of my break and then I had an attack! All of the above symptons I mentioned all took place. I left work after informing Marian the receptionist at my work to let our boss know that I had called my husband to come get me and take me to emerge.
That was a pain in itself! Even though I had suffered with these symptons before, I had to go through a series of tests since I haven't had this in years and is weird for it to come back ans stronger than the first time I ever got it. So they hooked me up to wires with these sticky like tabs on my body, then after that nothing was wrong with my heart they said. So the doctor sent me in for an x-ray to check out my lungs and rest of body and I was fine there. So, since nothing was really bad wrong with me they said it is just some stress related issues that made this arise and to just try all these different ways to calm myself down when another episode happens again. Deep breathing, closing eyes, go outside for some air away from my work desk at work. And if nothing happens after doing any of those then to procede with taking an adavan.  And I am not too fond of drugs, I don't want to take them. I had an adavan for another situation one time at my doctors office which will be for another post some day.

Sickness

I arrive at work today at 6:55am walking down the hall to see a sick boss who can barely speak, he is that bad. Now even though I hate how I am treated by him at times and don't like his using curse words every other second. Along with using Jesus' name as curse. I am not gloating like most others would be about a boss of theirs that they were not fond of.
I actually feel for him to be honest! In general when he isn't going around acting miserable all the time and cursing he can be a nice guy. I never would wish any form of sickness on anyone. I know what it is like to feel like death and not want to be at work.
I feel so bad for him, because he is always in good spirits and smiling, but this sickness is taking a toll on him.
I am not saying that I like him to the point of caring for him like a daughter would or family member would to him, but I am not completely heartless.
I always thought about what I would think of when the time had come for him to miss a day of work due to sickness or show up to work being really sick, and I thought that I would be like any other typical employee and say he deserves it, but now that it is happening. I don't feel like he or anyone of that matter deserves such a thing. Sickness is not a good feeling, especially what has been going around here at work the past month. At the beginning of April, it was myself and Shelly, who were sick so badly, that you couldn't even trust a fart! LOL And then it has slowly spread from one person to another and I think my boss is the last one to catch it.
So, I know what he is feeling like right now. Your stomach feels like it is rotting from the inside out! Trying to eat anything at all or even having food in your mouth starts up your gag reflexes. Also, your temperature going up and down all the time, sweating then freezing like you have just came from outside of the snow. It is not a good feeling!
I look at my boss and just feel for him today. I do hope that he gets better. I almost want to leave work and go to the nearest Shoppers and pick up a can chicken soup and pepto bismal for him. But something tells me that he would not take it. He seems like one of those stubborn men that think you have to let your body go through it.

Sick Day Today

Home today! Not so fun really it isn't a day off or anything. My wee one is sick and I had to stay home from work to take care of her. I hope that she will be better for tomorrow. I can't lose too many days of work. My boss seemed okay with everyone when I called and said my kid was sick. Besides, he was okay with my co-worker when she had to stay home with her wee one two weeks ago on Friday.
My poor little one is so sick though. Just looking at her makes me want to cry. She is so stuffed up and mouth wide open just to breath. Her nose is running with slimy little snots. Thank God for medicine though! It does take the clogged nose away for a couple of hours.
I just feel useless right now! All I can do is cuddle her and give her medicine. My being home with her is not working by any means. I wish I was the cure for her, because nothing makes me more sad than watching her struggle to breath.
Well I best be on my way for now. I got to get another dose of medicine into her system. Then call my landlord to come and fix my hot water knob from my kitchen sink. Water was squirting and spraying everywhere's last night.
Have a good day to you all, and here's to hoping that by my next post that my wee one is better.

On The Down Side

Today I am feeling a little on the down side. My parents and brother originally moved to Edmonton Alberta with Jonathan, Aaliyah and myself. But due to my brother Joel's autism, he couldn't handle the change which things such as this are hard on autistic children. So they moved back to Saint John NB after our year lease at the town house was up.
This is my first Christmas away from home. Without my family. I know that I have Jonathan and Aaliyah, but there was always a tradition in the Israel home with my parents and brother. Dad always strung the lights around the tree, while Joel and myself did the rest. As Joel and I got older we always decorated the tree and my Mom let us do it as she watched.
I am realizing I miss all of that, because I did the tree by myself and I couldn't get Jonathan to help me at all and well Aaliyah is still a baby and doesn't understand how to decorate yet. It is almost like Jonathan doesn't care much for doing things as a family. No matter how hard I try to get him involved.
I don't know about his upbringing as a kid for Christmas. But I am getting the idea that he never took part in it.
I don't even have a manger/nativity scene either. The one we always used all my life was my parents and I have been looking around for one and can't seem to find anything old and rustic. I don't like the modern pieces. I am just not feeling it this year. Probably because I am not a kid anymore either and not being around family that you're use to is not around. I feel like I have been left alone in this. I know Jonathan bought me gifts, but his lack of enthusiasm for family things during this month is not very encouraging. I am still a little girl in my own way and all I want is my Mom and Dad and brother.