On The Down Side

Today I am feeling a little on the down side. My parents and brother originally moved to Edmonton Alberta with Jonathan, Aaliyah and myself. But due to my brother Joel's autism, he couldn't handle the change which things such as this are hard on autistic children. So they moved back to Saint John NB after our year lease at the town house was up.
This is my first Christmas away from home. Without my family. I know that I have Jonathan and Aaliyah, but there was always a tradition in the Israel home with my parents and brother. Dad always strung the lights around the tree, while Joel and myself did the rest. As Joel and I got older we always decorated the tree and my Mom let us do it as she watched.
I am realizing I miss all of that, because I did the tree by myself and I couldn't get Jonathan to help me at all and well Aaliyah is still a baby and doesn't understand how to decorate yet. It is almost like Jonathan doesn't care much for doing things as a family. No matter how hard I try to get him involved.
I don't know about his upbringing as a kid for Christmas. But I am getting the idea that he never took part in it.
I don't even have a manger/nativity scene either. The one we always used all my life was my parents and I have been looking around for one and can't seem to find anything old and rustic. I don't like the modern pieces. I am just not feeling it this year. Probably because I am not a kid anymore either and not being around family that you're use to is not around. I feel like I have been left alone in this. I know Jonathan bought me gifts, but his lack of enthusiasm for family things during this month is not very encouraging. I am still a little girl in my own way and all I want is my Mom and Dad and brother.